Doubt I : Disqualification of Kalam

“Can we imagine an umpire or a referee who knows nothing about the sport. A President is not called upon to write poems, stories, novels nor talk about scientific research. He should take decisions on issues affecting political, economic and social life of the country,” Mr. Bardhan said giving a talk on Presidential elections at a meeting organised by the State council of CPI here on Sunday.

Sir, shouldn’t we then have some minimum educational qualification for legislators?

He said the country had entered a crucial era of coalition politics, breaking the monopoly of power by Congress. In this context, the highest office required a person who had knowledge about the relationship between parties that made up the coalitions. “Tell us, what is wrong in our thought”, he asked.

Nothing sir. We are just wondering if such knowledge is possible. Will some present/erstwhile members of any coalition Government shed light on their ‘relationship’ with other constituents?

He said the Left was opposed to second term for A.P.J. Abdul Kalam because it had not supported him even at the first instance.

How consistent!

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Vignettes of a Tamil Refugee

This is my delayed response to Sambol’s evocative post on the pain of those who are forced to leave their strife-torn countries. [Link via Desipundit]. It brought back the memories of one such Sri Lankan Tamil family whom I had known during my stay at Madurai.

The family consisted of a couple and their three daughters in their prime of youth. The youngest one had the loveliest oval face with big communicative eyes and a skin that was unusually fair and flawless for those south of Tropic of Cancer. Unfortunately, she had some problem with legs and could walk only with a limp. Fate seemed to have some cruel grudge on them.

The lady taught me Tamil. I was in fifth grade and the school, like many in Tamil Nadu, required me to study Tamil. I, then, barely knew the alphabet. So bad was my Tamil, that my parents eagerly waited to read my answer scripts for my unintended wit and humour.

Instead of writing “Kandhai aanalum kasakki kattu” [Even if it is a rag, wash thoroughly before wearing it], I wrote “Thandhai aanalum kasakki kattu” [Even if it is your father, wash thoroughly before wearing it]. Thanks to her, I just failed only in my second monthly test and by the end of the year, I always managed to get above 60%.

India in the pre-Manmohan Singh era provided little employment avenues for residents, let alone refugees. And of all the places, Madurai, a very sleepy town which my uncle often calls as a mega-village, gave them a very slender chance of resurrecting a living that was as respectable and as secure as they had in Sri Lanka.

The lady taught in a neighborhood school and a few students from there came to her home for tuitions. Except me and a few others, most of the students were Sri Lankan Tamils. They were pretty close to each other. Probably, they derived some kind of emotional coziness from each other. I used to find their accent very different and funny. Yet, I must confess that it had an element of rhythm and purity embedded in it. When compared to regular rustic Tamil of Madurai, even their angry spews appeared sweet.

The lady was very professional at her work and ensured that the time we spent there was used only for academics. Despite this, when the some student made an odd statement about someone who returned recently or some news from Jaffna, she would become both nostalgic and hopeful. Nostalgic about the past and hopeful about the future, though she knew that there was not much to hope.

Whenever, I see Kannathil Muthamittal, I wonder if she too fled amidst shelling. The song Vidai Kodu Engal Naadu empathetically captures the pain, agony and the uncertainty of being uprooted not just from your town, but from your country.

kaN thiRandha dhesam angae
kaN moodum dhesam engae?

There is the land where I was born.
Where is the land where I will die.

Of course, development always led to displacement. But the displacement a refugee faces has uncertainty written all over his future. People displaced due to development lose their home. But refugees lose their homes, their claim for compensation, their land, their identity. You begin to live on someone’s mercy. A family uprooted from a river basin confidently settles down at the nearest urban slum. But a refugee is often thinking about a piece of land for him to stand. Overnight, landlords like my tuition teacher, who owned a home in Jaffna, have to think about a place to even sit.

I was there for just one year. We later shifted to Hyderabad. A few summers later, I watched her walking past my grandfather’s home, where we went for our annual summer vacation. She was now giving home tuitions to one of my erstwhile friend. She was just same. Square face with prominent cheek bones and eyes securely rested in their deep sockets. She spoke to my mom with the same cheerfulness and wished me good luck. As she walked away, my mom recollected her travails. My mom was scared to touch upon sensitive issues like daughters’ marriages. In a small town like that we could always learn from others and if there was anything very encouraging, she would have definitely shared with us. I never heard of them again.

Some years back, when I applied for the TNPCEE exam, I was glad that there reservations for Tamil refugees. However, it seems that since 2003, these children are being denied admission into professional courses due some Madras High Court order and subsequent dilly-dallying of the center. The refugee camps, which Thiru says are equivalents of open-air prisons in Kannathil Muthamittal, are going to be worse with rising conflict in Sri Lanka.

When I read Sambol’s post, I felt how lucky he and some of those who left comments were to go to a western country. There were only two occasions when I could see a gleam in my teacher’s eyes. One, when she discussed about their joyful Jaffna life. Two, when she learnt how someone in a similar situation could migrate to western countries.

I hope she too got a chance to move out to greener pastures.

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An IIT for Andhra Pradesh

The location of the new IIT in Andhra Pradesh has become a bone of contention. The CM has proposed the location at Medak, a neighboring district of Hyderabad which is being steadily encroached by Hyderabadi suburbs. However, Mr. Ramiah and others who have been at the forefront of the campaign for an IIT at AP, want it to be located at Basar in Nizamabad district as it has the famed temple of Goddess Saraswati.

Amidst the din of arguments from either side, it has been lost that AP already has an IIT. High school students from AP have silently accomplished what politicians and academicians could not do. If don’t believe me, see this. [Link via Abi]

“During a recent year under review 979 candidates from South Zone secured admission. Of them 769 were from AP, while TN accounted for 94 successful candidates, Karnataka, 84, and Kerala, for no more than 32 candidates.”

Since we live in an age of acquisitions and mergers, the IIT for AP can be established in the following manner with minimal investment and zero contention.

Rename IIT (Madras) as IIT (Hyderabad).

Rename Guindy as Gandipet Phase - II.

Incorporate the locality into the proposed Greater Hyderabad.

Appoint Mr. Ramiah as the director.

Don’t worry about the Tamilians. Give them an additional 100 million cubic feet of Krishna water and they would happily agree to this.

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Ayn Rand in Wonderland

This month, Atlas Shrugged completes fifty years of its existence. It reminds of my non-iterative love-hate relationship with Ayn Rand. I was in high school when I completed this book. It was the first piece of serious literature I ever read. And, expectedly, I was blown off by it

When I look back, the book resembles like an intellectual version of a bollywood potboiler. A fantastic escape for the ordinary into extraordinary. Everyone is exceptionally talented in the book. Some even exceptionally rich. Common man has no place in her society. He is a passive sheep who has to be led by the ‘minds of the world’. Only people who are the ‘best’ of the society need to be talked about. Sounds like an intellectual Page 3. Doesn’t it? Such artistic liberty may be fine for a book like Fountainhead which deals with objectivism at an individual level. But when you try to extrapolate it to the wider canvas of society, characterization should be representative. Rand easily forgets that all those “talented” businessmen and artists need the man on the road for their survival. Her conception of Atlantis, completes her denial of the common man. It is surprising that she chooses a fantasy land as a ‘rational’ solution to the problem.

Despite the flagrant contradiction, Atlas Shrugged comes out as the most influential book after Bible for the Americans. But I don’t find any influence of Atlas Shrugged on America. Rather, America stands for everything that was denounced in the book. Instead of innovation and ingenuity, the American corporations now rely on non-tariff barriers, strategic superiority and even brute force to make money. The nation that has a statue for liberty is holding thousands under indefinite detention violating principles of natural justice. The biggest joke is that while Rand celebrates the Dollar as the proof of infinite superiority of the human mind, every dollar itself states that “In God We Trust”.

The only visible influence is that most people just pick up Rand’s hedonistic morality to justify their ways and views of life. For this, Rand creates numerous characters to reinforce her idea of morality. One excellent example is, Hank Rearden, a man who invents some strange blue steel, which is supposed to be the elixir of infrastructure. The society, externally, and his family, internally, are depicted as thankless leeches who suck him for their survival. And just like the gullible readers, this man of munificence, suddenly realizes that there is nothing wrong in abandoning his factory and family. I say, he should actually be thankful to his family members for giving him a chance to be their savior and stoke his ego.

Societally speaking, what if Hank Rearden invented a cure for AIDS rather than that silly blue steel? Would all those who worship him still agree if he refuses to sell the drug at a price other than that he determines and only to people whom he chooses? Or still further, what if my happiness lies chopping the fingers of persons whose name begins with “H”? After all, by the Randian philosophy happiness should be the only guiding principle. So at close quarters, the whole philosophy becomes animalistic way of life. (May be that is why their sex is characterized by violence, rape, BDSM and adultery.)

Randians might argue that your happiness should be pursued only to the extent that it doesn’t hurt others. But who will draw the line? A neutral regulator? That can’t be. As Anaconia in his celebrated speech says “production cannot be decided by those who do not produce”. So unless you are a serial killer, you can’t regulate my homicides.

May be Ayn Rand did not know how to find answers to all these. So she very simply created an imaginary isolated land where all like minded people get away. Great. But why will the world stop? If Newton did not wonder about apples, Clinton would have. I wonder how all her “extraordinary” minds were so like-minded. Why did not their intellectual superiority have different perspectives of life and happiness?

She calls those who tax the ‘productive’ population to fund welfare schemes as ‘looters’. Her naivety doesn’t get better than this. It is because of the ‘looters’ that the ‘minds of the world’ had law and order and social and physical infrastructure on which their genius could blossom. Again, my friends on the other side of fence would love Rand as she gives them a reason to cuss the tax collectors.

Ayn Rand understood neither man nor the society. She knew neither economics nor politics. Yet she set off to paint a grandiose philosophy and, expectedly, it was neither rational nor sustainable. She should have done some reading of her compatriot, Dostovesky. The consequence of assumed intellectual superiority, and the resultant liberty to act by personal judgment alone, was beautifully brought out through Raskolnikov in Crime and Punishment. While he showed how one Raskolnikov was an abberation, Ayn Rand fills up the Atlas Shrugged with umpteen Raskolnikovs and claims them to be the saviors of the world. Atlas Shrugged is interesting, but, as Abi calls it, a hoax. To sum up, Mark Skousen could not be more correct when says,“John Galt – it's time to come home and go to work.”

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And I Thought I Was Joking....

Two of my ideas found a mention in today's budget.

1. Private Jets
2. MMS Downloads

Not bad for a first time guesser. :-)

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Budget Speech 2007-2008

Mr. Speaker, Sir

It is a pain to present the Budget for the year 2007-08. I hate the PM for making me stand for three hours and I hate Health Minister for refusing to give me a false certificate for acute arthritis. You will rot in hell.

The budget speech has been deliberately made long so that all those who are listening can go to sleep and have a dream budget, like they had under a sleeping PM. Before I begin to start my budget speech, I would like to share a few pearls of wisdom which will help my allies and the Opposition to receive my proposals in the right perspective. The great modern actor-philosopher of Tamil Nadu had once enlightened us that Adhighama Aasappadra Left um Adhighama Kovappedra Right um Nalla Vaazhntha Charithrame Kedayadhu. (A Left which is over demanding and a Right which is extra fiery will die of worms in their stomach.) So please don’t expect much.

I will not present the overview of the economy because I have already mailed you the copy of Economic Survey 2007-08. Please read it when you find time. If you have doubts, please ask Alex. Even I refer his blog when in doubt.

Our Government has always been conscious of the National Common Minimum Programme. Under the able stewardship of the Chairperson of UPA, we have discovered 23,584 welfare schemes with names containing the words, National, Bharateeya, Pradhan Mantri, Rashtriya, Savarakar, Shayama Prasad Mukherjee etc. They are going to be suitably replaced with the words Rajiv and Indira in the ratio of 10:1.

The farmer has always been the man closest to our heart. Since we have failed to contain the farmer suicides, I have decided to do my bit in ensuring their post-suicide life is made more bearable. In this direction, I introduce Saral forms for claiming compensation for suicides. These would be available in local languages and will have just 29 columns to fill, which is eight lesser than the one used for Income Tax.

Now, I come to the most awaited part of my speech – Taxation.

First, the direct taxes. It has become a common feature for every sector of industry to vie for some kind of tax benefits. I have received representation from so many quarters in the last few weeks that I have become a confused man. To ensure that I do not confuse you further with multiple concessions, I have devised to introduce one-by-six rule for the corporates. Those satisfying any one of the criterion, are eligible for a flat 25% refund of their Corporation Tax. The criteria are as follows:

1) Firms dealing with alcohol and tobacco.

2) Firms who aid firms mentioned in (1) by allowing their employees to consume alcohol and tobacco.

3) Firms whose share price is more than Rs 1000 and less than 15% is held by public.

4) Firms which have personal jets.

5) Firms which sponsor polo matches and speculate in derby.

6) Firms whose CEOs attend the meet at Davos.

Women, children and family welfare are the key to success of any nation. For women, alimony from husbands double their ages will not be treated as capital gains. For the youth, the beacon of the nation, gifts bought for their girl friends are exempted from fringe benefit tax.

As my budget will have something for everyone, I have something even for the men. Since dowry has only been going upwards ever since IT boom has occurred, it would be foolish for any administration to ignore such a potential source of revenue. From next year, grooms who take large dowry will get commensurate depreciation against the wealth with every passing year of marriage. Further, if they survive the seven year itch, they will have an option to convert the erstwhile assets into a liability. (This has been my personal experience) This facility would be available provided they submit TDS certificates from their fathers-in-laws at the time of registration of marriage.

In its two years of operation, the Banking Cash Transaction Tax has proved to be an amazing success in curbing the growth of black money. Our research tells me that this technique can also be used to contain the growing inflation. Hence, I propose to impose a small marginal tax of 5% every time you take money out your purse to make a purchase. That is you pay just five paise for a rupee you spend. I have already asked RBI to start minting five paise coins. For women, the definition of “purse” would also include handbag, clutch, tote or any place where they keep their husbands' money.

Under indirect taxes, as boost to the vibrant film industry, I propose a cut in the customs duties so that they can import better heroines from Norway, Czechoslovakia etc. For the textile industry, I propose a cut of 5% on excise duty on White Dhotis and an additional 5% when they are sold with white cotton shirt.

I regret to inform that the 8% excise duty on packaged software imposed last year has not yielded the expected results. In fact, the whole revenue realized from this category happens to be solely from Government of India. Hence, I propose to modify the proposal to 8% excise duty on pirated software.

As with every year, I plan to bring new promising services like fashion shows, sleazy MMS, illegal occupation of land and extra-legal settlement of land disputes under the service tax net.

In tune with our commitment to financial and auditing reforms, I plan to introduce a radically new budgeting technique – Zero Based Budgeting 2.0. As against the conventional incremental allocation of funds, we plan to add zeros at the end of the previous figures to ensure exponential increase in social spending. However, to ensure that it does not result in runaway inflation which would antagonize our allies from the left, we have devised a formula to suitably move the decimal point towards the left for every added zero.

I am pleased to announce that the outcome budget introduced by me last year has produced outstanding result in the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare. The revised target for overtaking China in population is 2009.

All progressive Governments are keen on ensuring that the citizens are delivered Good Governance. In this regard, crores of rupees are being allocated, which usually find their way into rehabilitating retired bureaucrats, sponsoring foreign holidays (with spouses) under the cover of study tours and filling the pockets of failed academicians who pose as “consultants”. I have, therefore, decided scrap all such programmes and have come up with a cost-effective ingenious alternative. Names of all Governments will henceforth be prefixed with “Good”. The Government of India will be now known as Good Government of India. Similarly we will have Good Government of Tamil Nadu, Good Government of Andhra Pradesh and so on. The scheme would be first applied to the states ruled by constituents of UPA and it would be extended to other states when we come to power there.

Mr. Speaker, Sir, I have finally ran out of patience, perseverance and paper. If you kindly wake up the honorable members, we can adjourn the house and chill out in the canteen.

Sir, with these words, I commend the Budget to the House.

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Back Scratching

Freudian Slips declares Goofy as the Person of 2006 for nominating me as the Person of the Year.

Note: Retrospective nominations for Person of the Decade, Person of Century, Person of Millennium are invited. For details, please click here.

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Animal Harm

Post-Rang De Basanti, there has been an increasing awareness on the use of animals in movies. I, therefore, wondered if “Veerasamy” had obtained the mandatory permission from Animal Welfare Board of India (AWBI), before using an unusual animal, Sloth Bear, for its title role.

Rule 7 of the the Performing Animals (Registration) Rules, 2001 issued by Ministry of Social Justice and Empowerment says that:

Prior information for use of performing animals in films : -

(1) Every owner desirous of hiring out or lending a performing animal in the making of a film shall give prior information in the format as specified by the prescribed authority for this purpose to specifying the kind of animal, age of animal, physical health of the animal, the nature of performance to be done by the animal, the duration for which the animal shall be used for such performance, the duration and method of training of the animal for such performance and justification for the use of such animals in the film and such other information as may be required by that authority.

As a The Hindu-reading responsible blogger, I decided to verify the facts before making a post. I filed a RTI application with the AWBI and was glad that the movie had indeed obtained prior permission from AWBI.

The copy of the application seeking permission, which was given to me in response to my RTI, is reproduced below.

Kind of Animal – Sloth Bear (Melursus ursinus)

Age of Animal – 18 Till I Die

Physical health of the animal – Fight, Flight and Dance Worthy

Nature of performance to be done by the animal – Acting, Story, Screenplay, Dialogues, Direction, Music, Lyrics, Editing, Audiography, Art Direction and Cinematography (when he is not acting)

Duration for which the animal shall be used for such performance – Till the camera runs out of raw stock

Duration and method of training of the animal for such performance – NIL . It is a born genius

Justification for the use of such animal in the film – Self-employment

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Singur: The Hindu responds, partly

It was a pleasant surprise to find the Reader’s Editor of The Hindu responding to the accusations made in my previous post on Singur/Nandigram. Thanks to Desicritics, Desipundit and Blogbharati for extending the reach of the post.

I came across some interesting comments on some published letters on the Singur/Nandigram land acquisition controversy in West Bengal. A letter referred to "rumours of land acquisition" while the same issue of the paper carried the news of the Chief Minister admitting that the Haldia Development Authority had issued a notice to acquire land. This "factual inaccuracy" is explained by the time gap between the processing of letters and placing them on the page, which is done early in the day, and the news development and its reporting.

Along with this comment came the observation that all the letters The Hindu carried were from "non-Bengal locations," 2000 km from West Bengal. This is strange: is it the argument that only residents of a State can comment on developments within that State? The spread of the paper's readership is known. It is only natural that the letters originate mostly from this readership.

The first explanation is accepted. With regard to the second, my major contention was that the Letters to the Editor should be a representation of the people’s perspective on the issue. It should give voice to dissent and avoid reiteration of the newspapers’s stand, something which has been agreed in the above column.

But that process should not muffle or distort the voice of the people, which the column presents. The letter appears under the contributor's name and should reflect the original as faithfully as possible. Variety in style should be the spice of this column, not rewritten uniformity. They should not become opinion manufactured in-house — that some newspapers are said to do, and a charge a couple of readers laid against The Hindu too.

Priority should be given to alternative opinions. After all, we see newspaper as a source of information; not as a snap poll on the agreement or otherwise of its readers to its views.

I never questioned the liberty of non-residents of the state from commenting. What my concern was that, if the selection of the letters carried atleast a few from the state, it would have been a better reflection of what people at the ground zero think. I am not convinced with the cover of “spread of the paper's readership”. Yes, we all know that The Hindu has a better readership in South India. But I am sure it enjoys a respectable readership in Kolkatta, if not in the whole of West Bengal. A letter or two from there would have extended some credibility to the column.

Finally, one of the commentators on the Singur post at Desicritics wondered if “The Hindu puts doctored or manufactured letters under Letters to the Editor.” I confidently responded that “I don't think The Hindu would stoop so low to doctor letters, though from my personal experience, I know that they do reduce the length of letters.”

Today’s column eroded my confidence when it admitted that a two-sentence letter was re-phrased and published in a manner that the “printed version had no resemblance to the original”. Retrospectively, the Editor-in-Chief feels that instead of “sanitizing”, the letter should have been "dumped". So while The Hindu clamors for freedom of expression, even if it means protection of dubious finance companies, it itself would never grant the same.

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Singur : The Emperors Have No Cloths

How much more will The Hindu defend the Marxist Government of West Bengal? For over a month, the campaign to paint the Marxist Government white has breached all decent limits of “fearless unbiased” reporting. As pointed out in my previous post, not content with the 22 pages it has everyday, The Hindu also wants to use the tiny “Letter to the Editor” column to propagate or rather thrust upon its views. Similar to the cry of Chief Minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee that since all the available land is under cultivation, they are forced to encroach upon agriculture land for industrialization, The Hindu seems to say that since all the available space is either filled with news or advertisements (or even Rs 13-per-Sq-cm obituaries), it has no option but to forcibly intrude into the only available space on the paper – “Letters to the Editor”.

Look at this piece that was published two days ago.

"The report that six persons died in clashes in Nandigram, West Bengal, following rumours of land acquisition for a Special Economic Zone, is disturbing."

“Rumors”? What rumors? When you turn two pages you find this article where, Mr. Bhattacharjee admitted that the Haldia Development Authority did issue a notice to acquire land and the said authority is headed by a CPI(M) MP. Why publish letters that are factually incorrect?

Incidentally, all the letters are from people who are more that 2000 kms from West Bengal. What a representative collection of letters!

As if that was not enough, yesterday’s edition carries another letter toeing the line of The Hindu and coming from a non-West Bengal location.

“The death of six persons in clashes instigated by some organisations in Nandigram is unfortunate. The fact that these organisations played up rumours of land acquisition saying the West Bengal Government had issued eviction notices, when the reality is that it has not even completed the identification of lands, shows their vested interest.”

The other letter in the column too supports the Marxists. Readers often look towards the letters to learn the dissenting or the alternative points of view. In the first place, the reporting on the Singur issue has been very one-sided. Ms. Medha Patkar and Ms. Arundhati Roy, who usually get lavish space, are now given single-column insignificant coverage. By publishing letters that just mimic the articles, The Hindu is forcing regular readers like me to look for alternative sources of news.

The fine line between your beliefs and the truth is always sacrosanct. In this editorial, where they term Mamata Banerjee’s fast as “high-wire theatrics” and “meaningless”, has breached that line. The editorial, which also commends Mr. Bhattacharjee’s handling of the issue, give us an FAQ on Singur.

“What are the key facts about Singur? The State Government went about acquiring the land sought by Tata Motors not by dispossessing the people on the highly fragmented land, but by seeking their consent through offering compensation that was significantly higher than the market price.”

The moot issue is not the price but the consent of the landowners and rehabilitation and that has been consciously eclipsed.

The biggest lie that Chief Minister Bhattacharjee has been repeatedly telling is that the lands have been acquired with the consent of the landowners. But the “Final Report on Singur” which available on the website of West Bengal Industrial Development Corporation reveals a different story.

“Consent under section 11(2) is a means of involvement of the citizen in determination of award. However, non-submission of consent in writing in terms of Section 11(2) does not prevent the Collector from declaring the award and acquiring the land. For those landowners who do not submit consent in writing under Section 11 (2), the Collector shall proceed under Section 11(1) and declare the award and such awardees will not receive the additional 10%.”

Hence, irrespective of the landowner’s consent, the lands have been acquired by the West Bengal Government. The consents that were obtained before the calculation of award are called “Pre-Award Consents”, which is quite logical. The “consents” of those who have not given their consent are called “Post-Award Consents”. It is by using such oxymoronic phrases, Chief Minister Bhattacharjee is shouting from the rooftop that he has got the consent of the landowners.

The Pre-Award Consents get 10% additional money for kowtowing the Communists. When people have finally realized that irrespective of their consent, they are losing their land, they decided that they would rather give their consent to gain the additional 10%. This is quite natural and has obviously happened.

“But even after Declaration of the Award, many persons came forward with the appeal that due to various reasons and constraints, they could not submit the consent in writing for compensation before the date of Declaration of Award. They submitted applications requesting that they may also be paid the additional 10%.”

Predictably, the report is silent on proportion of Pre-Award and Post-Award consents. Incidentally, the third page of the report mentions Important Provisions of the Land Acquisition Act 1894:

The first one under that is:

“Section 4: By publication of notification in the official gazette, two dailies (including one in regional language) and by publication of public notice of the substance of such notification in the locality, the Collector notifies the intention of the Government to take specified lands for any public purpose.”

When did setting up of private industries become a “public purpose”? The self-proclaimed labour-friendly Government has not given any guarantee that the displaced would be employed in the proposed factory. The argument of generating employment seems hollow considering the past record of the Tatas at Pimpri, Pune.

“The Tata's Indica project, comparable to Singur was established as an extension to its initial car-truck and other production enterprise, in Pimpri, Pune. Tatas were given 188 acres of land possessed by Pimpri Housing and Area Development Corporation that was supposed to be used for housing of labourers in the industrial belt. ……

….. no one from about only 125 families who lost their land for the project is employed in the factory which is highly mechanised and have altogether only 300 employees. Telco has anyway slashed about 10,000 and more jobs during last 4 years and Tata Steels downsized its workplace by 30,000 during one decade, as per estimate."

The Left which supported the principle of land-for-land rehabilitation in Narmada Valley and elsewhere, is dispensing the present oustees with cash. With little investment opportunities, lack of alternative skills and the temptation of demonstrative consumption, they are soon going to become impoverished slum dwellers. Just the way numerous tribals ousted from Srisailam are found begging and selling earbuds on the crossroads of Hyderabad.

Much has been made out of the Mr. Bhattacharjee’s repeated offers to Ms. Mamata Banerjee, in a “civil tone”, to discuss the issues and his decision to set up a consultative mechanism within the Left Front has been recommended to be emulated by others. If the intentions of Mr. Bhattacharjee are truly as angelic as it is being projected, then why isn’t he allowing Ms. Medha Patkar to visit Singur? If the Chief Minister’s claims that there is absolute consensus in the land acquisition among the land holders, then why did he confine Ms. Medha Patkar to a youth hostel in Salt Lake? Wasn’t the State Police well-equipped to handle even 1% of the dissenting local population? It was the same CM who gleefully invited the media to show the vandalism caused by the Trinamool legislators in the Assembly.

Mr. Bhattacharjee, is not just re-inventing Marxism in economic terms, but also in political terms. He is adopting the same tricks which his so-called arch rivals, the capitalists use. The Singur media blockade and the extended videography of broken furniture in the West Bengal Assembly are the pointers towards manipulative dissemination of information. Even the majority of Pre-Award consents, happen to be sourced from the members of Gram Panchayat [predominantly manned by their own party workers] and not the Gram Sabha.

Religion, something which the Communist never recognize, too, is being use. At Nandigram, Mr. Bhattacharjee sought to take refuge under Jamait Ulema-i-Hind. It is not surprising as saffron and red have very similar wavelengths.

With so much going on, The Hindu, has been publishing one-sided stories which have become a joke on journalism. A sample.

“West Bengal Chief Minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee said here on Tuesday that a notification issued by the Haldia Development Authority….”

Said? I thought he admitted that the notification was issued. Admitted because he was consistently denying any such move, even when six persons were killed. But how can Buddhadeb or for that matter any Marxist be wrong in the eyes of The Hindu. And when they are not wrong, what can they admit?

He goes on to say that the notification was “used by certain forces to create confusion in the minds of the locals to incite them to violence.” But a few lines down the article he contradicts himself saying “Confusion among the local people is only natural if such a document from a State agency is brought to their notice.” Mr. Bhattacharjee, please clarify if the confusion was incited or natural? I am confused more than the locals. Or is it that you yourself are confused?

And it seems that the unbiased the reporting of “The Hindu” has forgotten to mention in the article that the head of the Haldia Development Authority is a CPI(M) MP, Lakshman Seth. So Mr. Bhattacharjee, what we need is not an All-Party Meet which you want to convene, but please convene your own party meet or atleast a meeting of your legislators and parliamentarians. May be they will clear (y)our confusion.

It is high-time that the Marxists and their unofficial Media Partner realize that the emperor is wearing no cloths.

Crossposted at Desicritics.

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Jockey - Idhi Chaala Pedha Rod Guru

Everyone thought that Krishna Vamsi had lost his touch and Anthapuram was the last of his impressive movies. NTR Jr was similarly written off after the failure of successive movies like ……., ……., ……. (Please fill the blanks). But both are back with a fatal vengeance and unfortunately it is not just on their critics. Krishna Vamsi tries to do a Shankar – packaging socially relevant themes in a commercial format. We therefore have an unbearably powerful movie. So powerful that the crowd is thrown off their seats into restrooms, corridors, staircases etc. The theaters are sealed during the show to prevent any damage of adjacent buildings.

Jayakrishna, fondly called as Jockey, has a fetish for undergarments and is a strong votary for their public display. He is pained by the society which reprimands skimpily clad women, especially those flaunting their undergarments from their no waist, I mean, low waist jeans. He is supported by one sister and two girl friends, one in-house (Maradalu) and one next house. The former is fair and fat (Charmee) and the later is fair and flat (Ileana). Towards the end, fat makes way for the flat. A metaphoric depiction of upholding the socialist principle of haves making way for the have-nots.

The films is extravagant from the word go. More characters than that can fit on a 35 mm film. More dialogues than you can possibly hear. More songs than you can remember. In short, the first half of the movie is a walk in the clouds. Aimless, directionless and meaningless. It has everything other than a story. If you find that the interval is no where in sight then it is not your fault. You need to beg, bribe and finally bash up the operator in the projector room before you get that much needed relief. But before that, the doting sister of Jockey dies of a fire accident caused due to her sari catching fire in the kitchen. He solemnly vows that he would not rest till he liberates all the Indian girls from the clutches of traditional dress and attains them the freedom to bare themselves in bikinis. With that, the director leaves you to take a break and get ready for a second dose of gang bang. Let me again remind you that the theaters are sealed and you cant run away.

In the second half, Jockey takes inspiration from the Swadeshi movement and decides to burn all cloths except undergarments. Such is his obsession that he doesn’t care even if the cloths are on someone’s back. It is here where Krishna Vamsi slightly, very slightly, loses the grip over the script. The director seems to have got confused between serial killing and mating of lions. (When mating, the lions copulate every 20 to 30 minutes for 4-5 days) Nevertheless, the manner in which Jockey seamlessly travels across the breadth of Hyderabad and kills 40 persons in a single day would serve as a case study for traffic and time management.

Since, Jockey is a guy for the women, by the women and of the women, the police department gets a hysterical women police officer, Suhasini. She often shrieks in such high pitch that the theaters had to install temporary noise reduction devices to prevent damage to the speakers. You should keep in mind that this sound is a supplement to Jockey’s angry verbal spews. You now know whom Spielberg hired for giving voice to Tyrannosaurus Rex in Jurrassic Park.

Finally, mercy dawns on Jockey and he decides to surrender. In the court, he asks the judge for two minutes before the judge pronounces his verdict. When you eagerly start your stopwatch, you realize that he meant two minutes on Pluto (whose 1 year equals to 248 earth years). By the time he completes his harangue on the socio-cultural, economic, political, psychological and historical importance of undergarments, any amateur can easily complete all the 18 holes on a golf course.

The climax, like the rest of the movie, is equally powerful. Prakash Raj, the judge in charge of delivering verdict, is blown off by Jockey’s commitment to the cause and immediately resigns and disrobes himself, endorsing Jockey’s cause. He further takes a solemn oath that he wouldn’t cloth himself till the highest court of the land acquits Jockey. Thankfully, we are not exposed to the execution of the oath.

The film closes with Jockey telling a huge crowd of women how the most powerful men, He-Man, Superman and Batman, always proudly displayed their underwears. Thus the corollary, greater you show, the more powerful you grow. He emotionally appeals that we should live in such a free society where there would be no necessity for another Jockey. For once, everyone watching also agree with him.

Every department of film-making has scaled new heights in this movie. The music stands apart and even tears you apart. During the crucial scenes, Narayana Murthy (of Dandorra and Erra Sainyan fame) renders an inspiring hip-hop number in the background. To prevent piracy and reuse, all songs have been remixed with suitable phrases like “Come on Baby”, “Yes you can”, etc. The result - A nostalgic remembrance of Mayadari Maisamma at the engineering college festivals.

Krishna Vamsi, not just emulates but outbeats Shankar is all areas. In logic, he outbeats even Stephen Hawking. The clinical precision with which he burns scores of people without even a speck of soot on him is something that would keep physicists thinking for another two decades. The vividness of colors used by him in the sets of songs is forcing Bill Gates to contemplate on a 512-bit true color version for windows desktop. The graphics used to picturize burning sequences has put to shame the animators at TNT Cartoon Network.

If such is the technical strength, then can acting be behind? NTR Jr’s expression of shock and anger is something which you might have never come across - that of a eunuch deciding between which restroom to use. Illeana, in an extremely sensitive portrayal, sobs more than the guys’ drool during the songs. Charmee, with her obstinate obsession for perfection, has chosen to dub herself. The consequence is a perfect telugu in a neutral accent. Never mind her village background and never mind that the words come out at the rate of one word every 30 seconds.

The movie is a must watch for all those guys who are tormented by their spouses’ eternal question, “Does my butt look big?”. However, a word of caution. Answer that question while looking at NTR Jr and not Ileana. Else you might end up in dog house for the rest of your life. To conclude, Jockey is a thought provoking movie that forces you to think on a serious contemporary issue that confronts the liberal urban women – the right to reveal your underwear from a low waist Levi’s jeans. So watch it if you are bold enough to discuss such issues. It is definitely not for the weak hearted escapists.

P.S: NO. I did not see the movie. I swear I did not see the movie.

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Dirty Doles and Perverted Poors

Kuffir has been a strong votary of direct money transfer to eradicate poverty instead of numerous employment generation programmes which have been in operation under various names. Initially, like many others, I too was not very keen about the idea. My apprehensions were the usual ones like misdirection of expenditure of the allotted doles and a possible dent in the potential creation of infrastructure. The second one had virtually disappeared when the NREGA programme in Vizianagaram literally adopted the Keynesian suggestion of digging and filling of trenches. This recent post had once again set me thinking on why such direct transfer of money should not succeed. I now feel that the conventional apprehensions are not really very sound.

Cash would lead to unproductive expenditure, they say, and even I thought so. But if you are really worried that the money would go into booze, why do you auction liquor licenses? On a serious note, irresponsibility towards family is matter of personal perversion. It is not and cannot be linked to poverty. The chances that a father would be irresponsible in a rich household are in no way lesser than in a poor one.

But we cannot come into terms with this fact. For us, the poor have to be ignorant and irresponsible. Else how can we justify our capacity to teach them their way out of poverty? Hence don't give them cash. Instead give them work, even if it means filling and digging the same wells. Give them grains, even if it means that they have to be transported over thousands of kilometers benefiting rich farmers and transport companies.

Speaking about food subsidy, the Planning Commission admits that it spends Rs 3.65 to transfer Rs 1 of food subsidy. The case would not be very different in other subsidies. Effectively it means that for every one rupee that goes to the poor, Rs 3.65 goes to the rich. Wow! What a means to achieve our socialist goals! It is in this scenario that I feel that direct transfer of money would be more cost effective.

I agree that there is a chance of leakage and corruption in the identification of beneficiaries. But that is common to all approaches. But where doles might score against others is that there is no additional leakage in terms of deciding what "asset" should be created, which contractor should create it, how much should it cost, etc.

With a wide network of banks and growing computerization the administrative costs of such programme would be very low. Secondly, since the programme would just have to identify beneficiaries and not the contractors or assets to be created or the procedures to be adopted, decision making would be faster. Thirdly, doles wouldn’t be subject to seasonal vagaries. Most of the works which employment generation schemes undertake come to a standstill during monsoon as manual labour cannot be performed under rain.

However, unlike Kuffir, I am not asking for scrapping of all employment generation programmes. What I say is that when there is no work or if a particular task can be performed more effectively and economically using machines, it is cruel to create work just for the sake of the programme. It is even crueler to leave the allotted funds unused like it happened in Raichur District where of the 10 lakhs not a single paisa has been spent. [Link via Kuffir] It is in such cases that we should not shy away from distributing money among the needy.

One of the criticisms of doles is that it discounts the need for work and that unearned money is frittered away recklessly. Considering the gargantuan proportion of poverty in India, any possible dole would hardly be a few hundred rupees per month at its fanciful best. As most our programmes promise, it would at best alleviate poverty but not eradicate it. Thus, doles would never do away the need for work. As far as frittering away unearned money is concerned, I wonder if people who are starving, who are chronically diseased and whose kids are congenitally malnutritioned, have even the energy, let alone a heart, to spend on things other than food.

Why is it then that we don’t consider doles? I think the problem is fundamentally in our mindset. Cash is a very dirty word. I remember till I left my school, I was never given money at home. My parents always said sternly "Money would spoil you. Tell us what you want and we would get it". The unsaid tag attached to it was "if we think it is worthy". It is the same psyche that runs through out. Right from the most basic social institution, the family, to the most complex ones, the Government and international agencies like World Bank. Everyone thinks that the poor and the weak are unintelligent, unimaginative and irresponsible. Hence, the Government (read babus) have to shoulder the "white man's burden" of "guiding" (read deciding, regulating and monitoring) the amelioration of the poor. If the Government can think of making PSUs and Panchayats autonomous, why can’t it give the freedom to the poor to decide their priorities in spending the money allotted to them? Ultimately, all the welfare schemes must ensure capacity building, not infrastructure (a very catchy word in the 10%-growth aspiring-era) building.

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Hazaron Khwahishen Aisi.....

Banu: hi
Me: hi
Me: saw the movie?
Banu: yeah man
Me: kaisa tha?
Banu: Nice .. hard hitting in the sense of what happens so fast to Vikram Malhotra
Me: doesn’t the song now seem more beautiful?
Banu: yeah. its good
Me: he is truly a baawra
Banu: exactly..
Me: the way he rests his head on her shoulders in the end........and still persists with his love … baawra bawre se iss jahan mein bawara ek saath ho, iss sayani bheed mein bas haathon mein tera haath ho… He has actually left the sayani bheed of Delhi…….
Banu: haha... he still persists with his love...
Banu: she knows he loves him from the first moment but she never accepts his love
Me: hmm
Banu: and even in the end, she doesn't love him but cares for him
Banu: and dammm people help each other in such conditions of distress
Banu: I liked that
Me: hmm
Me: but Sid was the sickest of the lot....
Me: the way he ditched Vikram
Banu: yeah.. he tried to do something but always looking confused
Banu: I don’t think he ditched Vikram...
Me: the way he looked to his dad when he was checkmated
Me: he was the weakest of the lot
Banu: yeah.. that was very bad.. and also the way he flew off to England or someplace leaving Gita right there
Me: As some one correctly remarked somewhere........... he talked the talk, but could not walk the walk
Banu: She came to Bihar because of him
Me: Gita and Vikram messed their lives just because of him
Banu: and he leaves
Banu: exactly
Banu: both of them got messed up
Me: When you look back, they were much better. They are very clear in their thought.......anything for their love/friend
Me: and though they do not commit, they always went out of their way
Banu: haha.. they always stood up to their love/friend..
Me: exactly raa..........i loved that
Me: ultimately what did sid contribute?
Me: It is very clear that his contribution to society would have been done by someone if not by him
Me: but Gita’s and Vikram's contribution for their friends was irreplaceable
Banu: he actually destroyed some students life
Banu: yeah...
Banu: and Sid calls Vikram ‘asshole’,‘comic’, ‘foolish’
Me: and it is the other way around
Me: though silent.......dumb-looking......and selfish........Vikram is more selfless and more courageous.
Banu: not to say selfless..
Banu: more courageous? yes
Banu: helping a friend out of the way... is it selfless?... a general question
Me: He might have had an ulterior motive in saving Gita....... but why should he save Sid?..... He knows what Sid did was self-inflicted
Banu: why did he go to help him..? big question
Me: Did u notice something in the movie? The relation between Sid and Vikram is mostly through Gita. Personally, he doesn't seem to have any big equation with Sid.
Me: So I wonder if they were really friends in the true sense.
Me: They actually just seem to be acquaintances.
Banu: Yeah. I notice now.
Banu: dammm
Banu: now this is selfless
Banu: dammm
Me: He is truly sweet.
Banu: Yeah, he looks like a crook to all but he is sweet
Me: And look at Sid........
Me: for sex, he spoils Gita's marriage by meeting her slyly
Me: when in trouble, he disturbs his ailing old father
Banu: yeah
Me: then leaves Vikram, when he knows that the police can do anything. Remember how they beat up villagers accusing them of killing a cop, when all along the cop was drunk and went missing.
Banu: I think he was brought up with riches and hence was confused.
Me: Even after seeing what has happened to Vikram, he goes to England to study Medicine. Very confused. Wonder why he suddenly decided to learn medicine. I guess Medicine is just a pretext to escape from his overwhelming internal conflict.
Banu: coward and etc..
Me: It seems that he doesn’t really care for the society. Just his ideals, with stress on the word "his" and not on "ideals"
Me: To fulfill his ideological ego, he used society. Just as he used Gita to satiate his sexual ego.
Banu: He should not have done what he did to Gita. I feel bad about it
Me: Oh Man, Chitrangada is really really beautiful.
Banu: Yeah man. Totally awesome. And she looks sooo telugu (or south indian)
Me: yeah
Banu: how can she be a Singh in the first place
Me: You can see her feminity when she surrenders to sid, at the same time, u can see the maleness, when she fights for him and with him.......even when that feminine coward leaves and runs away.
Banu: yeah
Me: A right mix of Yin and Yang.

Related Links: Ghalib's Hazaron Khwahishen Aisi, Baanwra Man by Swanand Kirkire

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Suspended Animation

Bheegi bheegi bheegi jaadu bhari lamhon ki ye raatein

Dekho karne lagi hoon main boondon se baatein

Boondon se baatein

Boondon se baatein main boondon se baatein

Boondon se baatein main boondon se baatein






I shall be away for more than a month. Till then, I leave you with these pictures.

Wish me luck for my exams !!!

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Transparency Begins at Home

So there are things worse than having pesticides. [Link via Kuffir] But more than this, it hurts to know that media has let off these guys easily.

Look at the way how they covered the reservation issue. They gave airtime to every remotely relevant point of view. Not that all of it was bad. While juvenile idiots were given opportunities to show off their pretensions of ‘saving the nation’, they also highlighted the status in media and various sociologists’ perspectives. There was an attempt, no matter how biased it was, to see issues other than what met the eye.

Or for that matter the rains in Mumbai. There was coverage even before the first cloud appeared. And then it was a deluge of reporting on the ill-preparedness of the Municipal Corporation. Views, suggestions, comments and alternatives followed.

But when it comes to Hero Honda's labour policy or Coca Cola's water policy, I wonder where is the "in-depth analysis brought by correspondents across the length and breadth of the nation"

No investigation, no follow-up stories, nothing. Mere mechanical reporting of what the CSE, Government and the suckers had to say.

It is not difficult to see the reason for the anomaly. Right in the midst of reporting on the suckers, we would find their advertisements during commercial breaks. Even respected newspapers seem to be succumbing to the lure of MNCs like never before. One such instance was highlighted some time back and the dialectics can be seen here.

Nearly after a month of the episode, the Apologist-in-Chief of Hindu presented the inside view of the journalism-advertising dynamics.

N. Ram spoke in detail about how he and the editorial team have been trying to keep intact the Lakshman Rekha between editorial and advertisement. It is only a conceptual line and no wall exists between the two areas of operation of the paper. There is continuous interaction between the two where the pressures and constraints are aired and discussed.

So it is just a conceptual line. That means it can be and will be subject to distortions due to the pull of advertising revenue.

Continuous interaction? Why should there be an interaction between the two at all? Why should the editorial department know who is funding their salaries and cost of operations? At the best, they might be informed of their budget to help them plan their operations. But why should they know the source of their revenues?

Mr. K. Narayanan’s views reflect the symptomatic malice that affects every media. Atleast he has been honest to admit it. If this is the status of a newspaper of Hindu’s stature, I dread to think the scenario in other media groups.

Would any media group bother to show the break up of their advertising revenues from different companies? Just as shareholders have the right to know the finances of their company, don’t the readers have the right to know the altruistic souls who are subsidizing their newspapers? Transparency and right to information, after all, should begin at home.

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Edukotla Andhrula Atma Gauravam

It is disgusting to hear YSR, saying that the issue of separate statehood for Telangana would be decided by Sonia Gandhi. The State Congress Chief even says that “she would be the ultimate word on it.”

Irrespective of the outcome, can someone please tell me who is she to decide. Does she belong to this place? Did she win an election from here? Is she aware of the history of this region? Or can she atleast spell “Telangana” without looking into a prepared text?

Shame on the CM and rest of the Sonia Sycophants a.k.a Congress legislators. You are worse than those who fall at the feet of Amma. Unlike you, atleast, they don’t sell themselves to an outsider.

Worse. The party founded on the premise of restoring aarukotla andhrula atma gauravam, is totally silent on this shameless outsourcing. Neither are those who raised hue and cry over her Italian origins.

They might be in favour of Congress’ refusal to grant a separate Telangana. But that doesn’t mean that they should be mute spectators of a political party transferring the mandate given by people to someone who cannot even speak their language.

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I Have a Vision .......

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

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Sex Appeal

It seems that August 14^th is ‘Half’ Valentine’s Day. Now these are those dreaded days which remind me about my miserable single status. My life has become as barren as the parched Telangana lands. Such infertility, that some of my cells commit suicide on a regular basis by drowning themselves into water. I am unable to stop this cellular genocide as I am incapable of providing them with their counterparts with two X chromosomes. Like the Indian Government, all I can do is provide them with promises and packages. But I am not sure how long I can manage this way.

Yes, I did try my luck with the members of opposite gender. And all I got was the realization that I did not have the magical four-lettered word. Luck. (No, I am not thinking yet about its rhyming partner, which is more appealing.)Those who met me, never came again. I did hear from some common acquaintances that I had a repulsive odour. Now, this, I knew was a blatant false claim. After all, I regularly have a shower on 5^th of every month. In addition to this, I also avail the complementary spray from the MCH every monsoon, which keeps not just the germs but even big mosquitoes away.

I approached the Ministry of Youth ‘Affairs’ to help me set up a date. They agreed support me under their Scheme for Promotion of Adventure. After all, spending time with unpredictable species like girls is no less than an adventure. They promptly (i.e. after 8 months) sent me an application to be filled with a few supporting documents like Caste Certificate (may be they din’t want to disturb the endogamous nature of our society), Birth Certificate (Moron, if I was never born, then who the hell is sending you this application), Age Proof (Does my desperation to reach you, with full knowledge of your bureaucratic redtapism, need any more proof of my withering age?), Ration Card as proof of my BPL status (Impoverished people eat meat. They don’t play with it)

Anyways, I managed to get all except the ration card. I decided to forge one. But for that the DTP guy wanted to have a look at the original. I approached my servant maid. She looked puzzled and asked, “What card?”. “Ration card”, I replied with maximum stress on ‘Ration’. She replied with an air of obviousness, “At the moment, I have Credit Card, Debit Card and SIM card and my boy friend has an AGP card and WLAN card. But never heard of Ration Card” Before I could react, she excused herself to reply to an SMS from her boy friend. I was as frustrated as seeing my inbox filled with spam advertising Viagra.

I finally did manage to send the application. It was returned saying that I had to submit to the MRO, who would then forward it to the District Collector. He would then send the documents for verification to the issuing authorities. There would then be a personal verification by the Special Branch of the City Police. After confirming the veracity of my claims, my application would be forwarded to the State Secretariat. Since, the programme is partly funded by the Centre, a copy would be forwarded to the Ministry of Youth Affairs, who would make a parallel verification. I protested saying that if they followed the whole process, what I would get is not a girl to take me to the bed, but a nurse to take me to the bathroom. He promptly (0.08 seconds) put down the phone.

I approached an NGO, Youth for Equal ‘Opportunity’, to help me take up the case. They gave me an ingenious idea to file a RTI application with census department so that I can get a list of all eligible, or rather, available females. I finally managed to get 22 contact numbers, The first one had a very stern recorded message “This facility is not available in your telephone”. The rest also had the same message in rest of 20 regional languages that appear on the currency notes.

Miraculously, the last one clicked. The female very coyly replied that she would date only with parental consent. I jumped with joy with some potential chances in vicinity. My parents would give consent for anything that would keep me away from them by 500 meters. She soon killed my nascent hope when she clarified that parental consent meant her parents. What? Me going to her home to ask permission? What a cruel comedy! Leave alone entering her home, in my present status even the stray dogs won’t let me into her street.

But it is not that I never dated any female. Thanks to Internet, may Eros bless who ever invented it, I did meet a girl whom I met on the chat. The moment I saw her, it was Kuch-Kuch -Hota-Hain for me. But unfortunately, and as usually, the Kuch-Kuch-Hota-Hain was not in my heart, but in my stomach. She appeared like a creature straight from some genetic engineering labs in Zimbabwe. She dressed up so jarringly that I never understood which was her skin, which was her dress and which were her accessories. She spoke little, ate a lot and had some childhood affinity for monosyllabic replies. And when she spoke, it was mostly over her mobile. Of course, I never got what she spoke. Her monosyllables, laughter, giggles and burps, all sounded the same - like the Jurassic Park ringtone which I use to identify my dad’s calls. Later, I realized that Blind dates are meant for only for those who are not just blind but also deaf, dumb and mentally challenged.

I have lot more, but would like to save them for Full Valentine’s Day. All those who know of any available members of the opposite sex, please recommend me to them. For every successful referral you would be eligible for a free aquatic screensaver.

All those singles who want express their solidarity with me can treat this as a mercy petition which would be forwarded to the President of India. All petitions, be it about sex or stray dogs, are usually sent to him and I don’t want to break the convention, though that guy himself was not successful with females. (Wonder who gave him the title "Missile" man.) So please sign this petition by leaving your comments.

Update: I have been married for sometime now. But I must confess that it has been as disastrous as my dates!!!!

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Monsoon Wetting

The rain has held back for days and days, my God, in my arid heart. The horizon is fiercely naked---not the thinnest cover of a soft cloud, not the vaguest hint of a distant cool shower.

Send thy angry storm, dark with death, if it is thy wish, and with lashes of lightning startle the sky from end to end.

But call back, my lord, call back this pervading silent heat, still and keen and cruel, burning the heart with dire despair.

Let the cloud of grace bend low from above like the tearful look of the mother on the day of the father's wrath.

- Rabindranath Tagore, Gitanjali

It is finally raining here !!!!!

And for those who hate rains, all I can do is to shake my head in disbelief and mutter, “Kahan se aise logaan aathe ki, kya hai ki”

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