India Fashion Week 2007 – A preview

Now that both the fashion weeks have come to a close, here is a preview of what to expect next year.

1. More splits and Chennai, Kolkatta, Bangalore and Hyderabad have their own fashion weeks. At Chennai, Karunanidhi accuses Jayalalithaa of diverting the cloths meant for Tsunami relief to the fashion week. At Kolkatta, only red garments (I don’t think the Marxists are leaving Writers’ building this year either) are allowed to be showcased. At Hyderabad, YSR asks if he too could walk the ramp as he has walking experience of over 1600 KMs. At Bangalore, every alternate model is accompanied by a bearded baby elephant a.k.a Vijay Mallya. Walk the good times!
   

2. Low-cost no frills show would be held at tier-2 cities like Hubli, Vijayawada, Madurai, Kanpur, Sholapur, Asansol, Raipur. In these shows models bring their own cloths and visitors their own chairs. Tea and snacks would be sold inside the auditorium.
   

3. Kinky Narula presents, our very own desi lingerie collection, “Noorjahan’s Secret”. The following evening NotSoNeat Verma accuses Kinky Narula that the blue g-string with Zardosi was actually his and Kinky stole it when he gave it to the hotel laundry. Kinky retaliates saying it was a woman’s garment and questions what NotSoNeat was doing with that. Rajdeep Sardesai asks the viewers to SMS him whether Kinky was guilty.
   

4. Subburami Reddy and Amar Singh walk the ramp. Of course, after Sorabjee, Jethmalani and Jaitley assure them that it would not be an office-of-profit.
   

5. Sultry Goel’s collection is a huge hit. But after buying , her customers call back to ask for instruction on how to wear them. The outfits had too many pieces and each smaller than the other.
   

6. Hutch launches 24-hour value added service to get the latest updates on models’ whose cloths malfunctioned. Calling charges Rs 60/min, provided you get through the line.
   

7. At Praveen Togadia’s maiden show, models walk out in protest after he asks them to wear cloths that go below the knees and elbows. Models fear that it could lead to asphyxiation due to lack of venti(til)lation. Brinda Karat joins them saying the Govt. should bring suitable legislation to prevent such health hazards at working places.
   

8. Lorry launches a special collection for the Haryana Police to prevent Gurgaons and Faridabads. The shirts would be customizable to restrict the movement of hand.
   

9. Two women are hospitalized after they got scared at the Demonish Horrora’s collection.
   

10. As a grand finale, CanU SeeTheGirl launches a radical genre of Malfunction fits. These cloths come with stealth strings, which can be used to create ‘accidental’ show downs at the required moment. Hutch network collapses.