It is wonderful to be back at the Academy. I have
had wonderful memories of this place and consider it to be the best among all
the other Academies. As I checked into the room of the guest house allotted to
me, the first thing that stuck me was the bedroom. Not that I have not seen
these rooms before, but every time I did, I was confounded with the same
thought – the shape of the room. The bedrooms of the guesthouse are pentagon in
shape. I have seen square and rectangular
rooms. Or even ‘L’ shaped rooms, but pentagon? A room with five corners and
five walls where every wall appears running diagonally when seen from the
opposite wall. Due to the unusual angles of the wall, the furniture appears to
be strewn around. The entire room has a feel of post modernist abstract
sculpture. Thankfully, the bed is rectangular. Else I would have spent another
lifetime figuring out where to rest my head. The old faithfuls of my blog will
know how totally immersed I was into the training during my probation days.
Therefore, I could not spare much thought to this mysterious design. However,
this time, I decided to find out why was there the extra wall.
Probably they were inspired by the American Defense
Headquarters. After all, Defence and Taxation are the two most defining signs
of sovereignty. But that seemed too far
stretched. It was constructed at a time when our friendship with the Soviet
Union was next only to that of Jai and Veeru. Or maybe it was driven by Vaastu
considerations. No matter how secular and scientific we claim ourselves to be,
it is a fact that we do allow ourselves such indulgences in an unabashed
manner. So I sent a copy of the room plan to an eminent vaastu expert for his
expert opinion. His marketing tagline screamed that his structures bought peace
and prosperity in life and afterlife. I thought he plagiarised the ad campaign
of the leading insurance behemoth. Later, I learnt that more than buildings, he
designed tombstones, graveyards and even crematoriums. Of course, those alive
cannot certify and those dead could not confirm. After numerous follow-ups, all
I got for an opinion was a terse two-worded phrase that we hear every day on
the news channels, “No Comments”.
Not the one to be disheartened, I decided to independently
examine the possibility of some veiled astronomical significance in the design.
I guess, it was a hangover of reading too much of Dan Brown. I remember seeing such strange structures in
Jantar Mantar too. I got the Sky Watchers Handbook from the library and stared through the
window wondering if any particular planet, star or constellation would be
visible from that angle. All I could see was the flickering sodium vapour
street Iamp peeping through the branches of a wilted Gulmohar tree. I waited
till the dawn to check where the first rays of sun fell. It fell on that corner of the
room where the dustbin was placed.
At this point, I must confess that this was not
only baffling room I came across. A stranger room was occupied by my erstwhile
boss in Hyderabad. The building is probably one of the best governement offices
in the country but rooms of the range heads are puzzling to say the least. They
are so acutely trapezoidal that they almost border an isosceles triangle. The
occupants have found planning the orientation of their office table more
challenging than cracking hardcore money laundering. Such assymetry that
whichever way you park you table, the opposite walls appear diagonally. The
same room makes you feel claustrophobic at one end and agoraphobic at the
other. Constant staring at diagonally running walls causes such severe disorientation
that you just look into the files and never lift your head. May be that was the
intent too. No one should aimless stare at walls. Not even for a second. Not
even to look at the calendar or the clock.
I just keep wondering about the brains behind such
fantastic designs which have a potential for a doctoral dissertation among the
classes and political polarization among the masses. They can pass off as a new
age architectural fusion of Pythagoras' Trigonometry with Picasso’s Cubism - an offspring
of the holy union between art and science. Just that they fell short of
utility and function failed to follow the form. They are no different from the
first house allotted to me by the government. By now, I realised that even
pondering over the subject was adversely affecting my abilities to judge
distances and dimensions. I also began to fear that I am on the threshold of becoming
an astigmatic. Since I needed to protect my limited cerebral and sensory abilities,
I decided to call off this quest for truth with immediate effect. As I could
not find any special reason behind these grotesque geometrics, I concluded,
like many other assets of the state, they must be the result of sarkari
planning and budgeting. Only in this case, in their zeal to cut corners, they
cut a few too dramatically.